IT'S A GAS, GAS, GAS!!
MESSAGE BOARD ARCHIVES/WEEKLY ROCK POLL POST
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Date: Tuesday, September 11, 2018
Time: 4:35:57 PM
Remote Address: 188.8.131.52
Message ID: 317482
Parent ID: 317479
Thread ID: 317462
Come, sit upon my knee, crack open a sarsaparilla and let me tell you of a simpler time. Before the war. When the lambs used to lay with the lions, nobody listened to the Eagles, and Exile was blasted continuously on the tape decks of all of garland's youth. Back then, we all used to compare notes on the MT era vs that of Ronnie. Ginda used to make out with Elvis, and Keno used to work part time as a naked house painter. Those were the days!
In early March of the year 2000, 2000 Man, gasland's dirty old uncle, was getting bored on the weekend because his Browns hadn't won a game since the 1870s. He decided to have a sleep over to pass the time and invited his good friend Maxmeister to come tour the Rock n Roll hall. Maxmeister, fresh off his own Bar Mitzvah, decided to celebrate and take him up on the offer. They were overheard discussing the plans by SirStonesalot, a gruff but simple Amish warlord from the plains of Pennsylvania. Stonesalot decided to crash the party and showed up with his good friend FPM, the bassist in his jug band. They drove up and parked Stonesalot's souped up '73 Nova in Miss Vicki's flower bed, a bad omen of things to come, and drank all of the root beer in the fridge. Maxmeister, afraid the newcomers would drink all his Busch Light as well, locked himself in the bathroom, slammed the whole 12 pack, and passed out on the beanbag chair in the basement; he didn't wake up for the rest of the weekend.
In search of other victuals, FPM and SS headed into town and happened upon a wandering Fin named Marko who was in town for the annual meeting of the He Man Emotional Rescue Society Appreation club. Marko showed them to a local bar, where FPM waited across the street while SS picked up some Jameson, popsicles and a local named Steel Driving Hammer, who had nothing to do that weekend because he had recently been fired from his job as a black UPS driver. SDH, FPM, SS, and Marko headed back to 2000 Man's house with the booze, popsicles and a few broken chairs borrowed from Parmeda.
Meanwhile, in town, Joey and his BFF Maxlugar were touring the country in support of their new album, "Songs to Fart By". For now, relations between the two men were stellar and album sales were through the roof. (Soon after, however, it would be revealed that Joey stole all of Lugar's material for the album and decided to try a solo posting career over there ---->, which has been a miserable failure ever since.) They heard over a police radio of shenanigans at 2000 Man's house and decided to check it out themselves. They took a cab and shared it with Moonie, who had been kicked out of his own cab because he hated the fucking eagles, man. Lastly, a lawyer named Nanky was called in because with a troupe of hooligans this big, certainly legal problems would ensue. Nanky arrived on Friday night about midnight, riding in on his favorite sheep.
The rest, young’uns, is history. Thus, the C10 had officially formed. This, the first of all summits, lasted three days and used up 13 boxes of popsicles, 347 rolls of toilet paper, 35 cases of Busch Light, and 18 broken chairs. A video exists, of which I have seen about 3 minutes before I had to turn it off in sheer terror, the sight of joey’s naked ass dancing around a campfire was too much. A TV movie was made about ten years ago; perhaps I will tell you of that next week.
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