Newsflash!!~~~Emotional Rescue is better than Voodoo Lounge

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Posted by Lord Voodoo on May 06, 1999 at 14:28:39:

Ok, I know before I start this that The Storm Disagrees.

Now, this is all my personal opinion and on the ratings, is honest at the moment. I will rank in my view everything I can think of about these two albums.

First, It is very important to note if you are insane, that both Some Girls and Steel Wheels are two word combinations each with and adjective before a plural noun. Its is also equally unimportant, that Voodoo Loungue and Emotional Rescue are two word combinations as well. In each combination, there is a really cool word that has nothing to do with the album followed by another cool word that has nothing to do with the first word. The point, there is none. But let's move on. We have determined that both Voodoo Lounge and Emotional Rescue are cool words. Does that make them cool titles. Yes. Therefore, since both albums have cool titles, we so far have a draw.

Second, they both were followups to albums which were deemed by the band as comebacks. ER followed Some Girls, and VL followed Steel Wheels. Voodoo Lounge was not a let down but emotional Rescue was. That tells us one of two things. Either a) the original important albums were equally as good, therefore the album that is a better followup is better, or b) the original two important albums were not equal, so this comparison is pointless. I think that the obvious answer is B. Some Girls in every way is a better album than Steel Wheels, therefor, the fact that Voodoo Lounge was veiwed as a more successful followup in meaningless. We must continue.

Third, we must examine the cover art. Emotional Rescue has that distorted negative picture thing going on which is really cool to look at. Voodoo Lounge has that Funky dude dancing. Both covers can be called cool. Therefore no album wins the art debate.

Fourth, we must examine the names of the songs. Unfortunately, there is not a good name for a song on the entire album ER. The only cool words are Emotional Rescue, and oddly enough, they don't work as a song, they only work as an album name. Apparently, the band figured that if they used all common sounding words for their song names, that it would look cool. It was an idea that failed. Thus, ER has shitty names for all of the songs. Upon examination of VL, it is also clear that there are no good song names either. Apparently, the band figured that if they choose cool words for all of the songs, it would look cool. This also backfired. We are again left with shitty song names.

Fifth, we must examine the actual songs themselves. This could take some time. In my personal opinion, I would rank these songs as follows on a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being Thief in the Night and 10 being Gimme Shelter:
Dance pt 1: 4 Mediocre Disco song with bad wistle at beginning
Summer Romance: 6 not bad
Send it to Me: 8 cool goofy reggae
Let Me Go: 9.2 the best song on the album, really cool
Indian Girl: 6 I don't mind this one that much, although its so sappy
Where the boys all go: 6 ok song
Down in the Hole: 9.1 excellent blues song, one of thier best
Emotional Rescue: 9.1 absolutely hysterical. The funniest and so obviously stupidest song in the 1970s
She's so cold: 9 Kicks all types of ass
All about You: 9 A very nice Keith slow song. Up there with the worst and you got the silver(almost)

Total points 75.4
Average (75.4 divided by 10 songs)= 7.54

Love is strong: 9 cool song, but definately not a hit
you got me rocking: 9 best rocker on the album
sparks will fly: 7 kind of a lame duck song
the worst: 9 one of keiths better efforts
new faces: 7 not bad not great
moon is up: 5 easily the most annoying song on the album
out of tears: 9 very good slower song
I go wild: 8 decent rocker
brand new car: 7 mediocre attempt at blues, the idea is ok, the song is just kind of lame
sweathearts together: 6 talk about sappy
suck on the jugular: 7 I was just expecting so much with that song name
blinded by rainbows: 9 excellent song
baby break it down: 7 "we got a long way to go" - yup
thru and thru: 7 a drag, but its a keith drag
mean disposition: 7 totally unmemorable album closer
Total 113
total average 113 divided by 15 = 7.53333333

As you can see Emotional Rescue comes in just a bit ahead of VL. But it is almost too close to call. Therefore we must proceed to the final comparison.

Finally, we must examine the production of the album. ER was produced by the Glimmer Twins. VL was also produced by the Glimmer Twins, but the had help. It is here that we finally see why Voodoo Lounge could not be "as good" as ER. Don Was was involved in Production.

As you can see, ER is the clear cut, hands down winner. All subsequent arguments must be made with the idea that the argument is in fact in support of Don Was.

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