Long Distance Information, 90 miles from Memphis Tenn.

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Posted by steel driving hammer on January 22, 2000 at 21:38:35:

Something Happened To Me Yesterday...

Down in Memphis Tennessee, out by a Memory Motel, I was drinking from my Loving Cup. Singing to myself
Look What You've Done. I was feeling Low Down and my Love was In Vain. I wasen't waiting for
Angie, I was Waiting On A Friend with No Expectaions. After a Long Long While, I looked up and saw that
the Moon Is Up and I'm just another Child Of The Moon.  Meanwhile, I was thinking, I'm Free!
So I took my seat on Flight 505 destination, Heaven. Blinded By Love and Always Suffering, I was destend
to find another Zip Mouth Angel. After all, who wants Yesterdays Papers. As the plane touched down,
I was feeling sexy, wanting to move like a stud and steal the West Coast Promotions Mans girl right from under his nose.
I got my bags and my Black Limosine was there High and Dry,  like High-Heel Sneekers on Steel Wheels!
I gave my driver a thousand dollars and told him to go have some fun. He wouldn't Let Me Go, so I told him that I'm Going To A Go Go and if you don't Gimmie Shelter, I'm gonna smash down all your plate glass windows put a fist through your steel-plated door so Dontcha Bother Me. He became a Turd On The Run before I had a chance to say Bye Bye Johnny.
Now in my Brand New Car strolling down New Port Street I was looking for another girl to take away my pain.
I Might As Well Get Juiced first before I become a Black Panther. Drinking some Blood Red Wine, having a few beers and smoking a few joints I was a Road Runner Playing With Fire but since I have A Heart Of Stone and tonight I'm Out Of Control just looking for a Little Queenie in the Ivy League to Jump On Top Of Me. So I stoped at this bar and met an Honest Man
who knew the Bright Lights and Big City Neighbors. But he told me to Try A Little Harder and take Route 66 down the Moonlight Mile past the Gangsters Maul. So I thought Ain't No Use Crying, I drove down the Moonlight Mile again this time with a Mean Disposition.   Slinky like a panther, I saw Some Girls standing in line that were So Young. I thought I'd stop and park. When I entered the bar, I saw nothing but Honky Tonk Women doing the Harlem Shuffle and shaking the tail feathers. A voice said to me, Son, this is you're Hand Of Fate. I then noticed a girl standing over by the record machine. I got the lumps in my throat. When I saw her coming down the aisle I got the wiggles in my knees when she looked at me and sweetly smiled.
Meanwhile, I was thinking she's in the mood no need to break it I got the chance I oughtta take it, she can dance we can make it  Come on queenie let's shake it. After while, she came up me and felt my Black Velvet Hat  and told her to Feel On Baby. I told her I want some Satisfaction from her and I believe I'm gonna get it. But Looking closer,   she had stains all down her dress so I told her I Had It With You. I decided to go on the dance floor to Hang Fire and move like a stud. After doing The Hip Shake and giving One Hit To The Body, I was Waiting like a good man should. Up came Angie looking Pretty Beat Up
I told her to Please Go Home. I a found Miss Lucy, She Was Hot. I told Lucy  if we could Walk Through the Sleepy City and then get some Sleep Tonight in my hundred dollar hotel room. Hoping Sparks Will Fly, she wouldn't Stop Breaking Down
about her Summer Romance with Jack. She was Bitching bout things I've never seen. I said, Stop Breaking Down Stupid Girl. Minutes later came a girl named Susie Q. A sweet 16 year old whom I wanted to Tie Up In The Pain Of Love. She came up to me Torn and Frayed. I told her I don't want yer ID and You Better Move on and you're probably Too Tight so Please Go Home. Then came a lady named Lady Jane. She Was A Rainbow. She gave me Satisfaction right in my seat. I told her to Ride On Baby and She Said Yeah. Durring the Satisfaction, I told her I had to Go Where The Boys All Go,  she pulled up from Sucking The Jugular and said Tell Me You're Comming Back. Ain't Too Proud To Beg I told the Down Home Girl to Come On, I need a good woman to keep me Satisfied. So told her to Get Off My Cloud you don't keep me Happy. While on my way to the mens room, I yelled,  Hey Negrita! She Smiled Sweetly. Exiting the mens room, I noticed a Backstreet Girl
with Far Away Eyes who calls her self Claudine. I told the bartender what time is it? The bartender said the clock on the wall sais 3,  last call for alcohol. I tried to make a Connection with Claudine. I stroled up to her very Respectable and sat down and said   The Nearness Off You takes me to Another Land and that I Wanna Hold You and wrap my coat around you through the Winter. She told me to introduce myself first, I said Cool Calm and Collected, I'm a man of wealth and taste. She said, stop and Cry To Me. I told her I was Down In the Hole and had a Empty Heart. She then said It Must Be Hell since I'm a Fool To Cry. She led me by her hand to The Lantern by the ocean. There I swore I almost saw the Continental Drift. From then on, I told myself, How Can I Stop? Claudine held me tight, laughed and then ran and said If You Can't Catch Me, I'm Moving On.
My Love was Strong so I Let It Loose by the tide and grabed my prize by the Short and Curlies and tackled her by the water front and said If You Really Want To Be My Friend, you must wear steel clothes like a knight in shining armour
Riding across the desert with a fine Arab charger.  I said just like John Wesley Harding, I come to you, so silent in the night so stealthy, so animal quiet.  Knowing the Red Rooster will crow anytime, Claudine an I must split before the cock'rel crowes.
So back at the Black Limosine, I asked her if she's ever about the Boston...  It's not one of those,  Well, talkin' 'bout the midnight...sh...  The one that closed the bedroom door  I'm called the hit-and-run raper in anger  The knife-sharpened tippie-toe...  Or just the shoot 'em dead, brainbell jangler You know, the one you never seen before  The Lion has awoken!

The Stones are my 2nd life on Earth people.
Mutual Feelings Gas X 3 folks.

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