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Subject: RE: RE: RE: alone when you're old (nsc)
Date: Thursday, October 11, 2018
Time: 12:28:58 PM
Remote Address: 18.104.22.168
Message ID: 318163
Parent ID: 318161
Thread ID: 318047
First, I didn't hear anything about that movie made in Old Colorado City! Damn, for those who don't know (most of you I guess), that's between my old home town of Manitou Springs and downtown Colorado Springs. One of the neatest places and it was one of my favorite place to hang out at, I loved that place! What's that movie's name JF, I want to see it.
But getting to what you just noted, I didn't mean I can't have another woman to do things with, it's living with and having another soulmate, that's what I'm talking about. I sure didn't ever live with my last girlfriend, and while I guess some people could have 2 soulmates in their lives, with a true soulmate - that don't happen more than once for most people since well - your soulmate is just that - and you don't leave your soulmate for good to go looking for a new one (not for what I call a soulmate anyway).
I did try to do that once when I was a lot younger, and that's why my second marriage happened. I was 42 and me and the first wife had just broken up (yet again, middle age crisis time for me) and my wife/soulmate was 10 years older than me. So I found this gal who was absolutely a beauty, and around the same age as my oldest daughter, at only 21 years old. I did love her, no question, and my ex went and got herself a new hubby right after I got me my new wife/life. So I just knew that my first married life with Sue was over with - but it wasn't. After about a year the 2 of us started to see each other on the side again (just like with the other breakups we had). So I was still seeing my old wife who was now on her 50s while still living with my new wife who was in her 20s. Then a year later my new wife found out about me and the old wife, all while she also didn't wish to be a stepmother to my son who was still a preteen at the time and mainly living with the 2 of us, all while his mother (not Sue) was still trying to reel me in. But I had no interest in her at all and I tried to assured my wife that nothing would ever happen (and nothing did). But all of that just lead to the second marriage not lasting and me and the ex getting back together again about a year later. We even planned to remarry after that, but it never took place since she first started to get sick in the late '90s.
So with all the women in my past, there was only one soulmate for me. Today as an old man, half my desire is gone, which is normal for a guy my age. So the drive for a new girlfriend is not as important as it was even 10, 15 years ago. At 20, 30, 40 and even 50, I had to get some a few times a week, hell, really every day at 20. But now I could care less about that. Don't get me wrong, once in a while is still nice, but it ain't needed like it once was. Then all that other stuff that comes with having a steady mate, too, while the companionship is great, some of what goes with it is another story. With my soulmate I didn't care about that other stuff, it was just a part of life, but as an old man today, I don't want the luggage I guess.
But what's worst, a new mate's luggage, or living alone? I'm not sure, as again I haven't done a lot of living alone. But I have gone a few years now living without a lady while raising my last kid, but up until almost 3 years ago there was a girlfriend on the side, and since she's been gone, well with my health issues I haven't had time to think about it. After next year when I should be living totally alone for really the first time ever, things will be different and I'll see how I really like it, or dislike it. But for now I don't know for sure what will be, and won't know until I experience it for a good year. I may not want to live alone, and I sure don't want to raise anymore kids, either. I just got a feeling I won't like living alone much, so maybe just maybe I'll end up with another love in my life to finish growing old with? But for now it ain't in my plans. Maybe I'll just get me a roommate!..? This house is too big for just one person as it is. But my favorite line applies here, time will tell - for sure - in what happens to me!
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