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Name: Human Riff
E-Mail:
Subject: Black like Riff NSC
Date: Thursday, July 19, 2012
Time: 12:39:55 PM
Remote Address: 98.211.97.195
Message ID: 270258
Parent ID: 0
Thread ID: 270258
Of all the books I was forced fed in high school. "Black like me" was easily in the top 5 as a favorite. Dunno why, just left an impression on me.Maybe because bullshit like racism really pisses me off, Maybe because I'm white and my birth given last name is Coon. Who knows? I'm providing these details because they seem pertinent to my following rant.
I had moved to the Beach, Lewes, DE back in February. I recently collected my car after abandoning it in a field in Landenberg, PA.Months ago. The tags had expired in September. I obtained proof of insurance via the internet and after a crazy bus ride via 4 different busses (that's alot for a tiny state like Delaware) I reclaim my precious Volvo. The trek took me 3 days. Admittedly, visiting old friends was a prioriety. As was seeing Roger Waters in Philadelphia! During the trek, I was treated rather rudely by a Wilmington, DE cop. You just don't wake somebody sleeping in the sun in a public park with a nightstick poke to the ribs. I mean, that is just rude! Especially to a local! Looking back, I think that was just more of a catalyst to my upcoming behavior. Having to break up with a true love and losing my job for having pot in my system didn't add grease to the wheels either!
So upon my arrival back in Lewis on Sunday, I'm thinking all I gotta do is keep clean, and register my vehicle the following day. I have the title handy and printed proof of insurance so I think I'm good to go. Mind you, it's a beach town, so I would have been amazed not to get pulled over.
Another thing, I had loaded my car with a bunch of personal effects (suitcases, boxes, ect) that I picked up as well.
So, I keep myself squeaky clean, sober nothing in the car that would get me in trouble, but my mood is not very authoritive friendly. Yeah we'll just call it that.
Sure enough, I get pulled over. What follows is the transcript between me and way too many cops. But I guess I did bring alot of it on myself.
1st cop: The one that pulls me over "Good afternoon I'm Officer Goodwell, Lewes Police Department. Do you why I pulled you over?
Me: "Ummm because I'm Black?"
1st cop: "Noooo...."(The look on his face was priceless!)
Me: "Because my wiper blades don't work?" (it's sunny and around 3 in the afternoon. Besides the wipers work just fine)
1st cop: "Nooooo....." (The look on his face gets even better)
Me: "Ummm I gotta light out?"
1st cop: "Noooooo) ( I can see he's getting annoyed not to mention hot so I relent)
Me. "Because my tags are expired?"
1st cop: "There ya go! May I see license, registration, and proof of insurance please?"
Me: "Sure dude!" (I had all the paperwork at my side. I provided it all in record time. With a flourish and a shit eating grin might I add.)
1st cop: "All right Mr Coon sit tight while I check this out"
So 1st cop goes back to his car and is taking a while. I think to myself. He's calling for assistance. I was right.
Another Lewes cop rolls up. She converses with him and then the two approach my vehicle from both sided while the 1st cop is talking to me I cant help but notice the 2nd cop is totally Eye balling the contents of my car.
1st cop: "where did you say you where coming from again"
Me: "Wilmington, DE. and Landenberg, PA."
1st cop: "you mentioned your wipers don't work, how come?"
Me: " I mentioned it because you asked why you pulled me over"
1st cop: No I mean why don't your wiper blades work?"
Me: Oh! I dunno..because they're black? Ya know I think I got 'em fixed now that I'm thinking about it."
So I fire the wiper blades via the wind shield wash feature.
Big mistake. Both cops get squirted. I just sat there with a oh shit look on my face. It was all I had"
1st cop: "Mr Coon I'm going to ask you to step out of the car now."
Me: "Okay go ahead"
I swear I heard the 2nd cop snort with laughter.
1st cop : Mr. Coon out of the car now!!!!"
Me: Dude! you don't have to yell."
So I step out where I get the hands behind the head treatment and I'm cuffed.
1st cop: "Any weapons or illegal drugs I should know about"
Me: "Dude you're a cop. Shouldn't you know about all weapons and illegal drugs?"
The 2nd cop bursts out laughing! I later learned the two apparently don't get along too well.
1st cop: "I mean on your person or in your vehicle."
Me: "Oh. Naw dude, I'm clean."
So I get the obligatory pat down and I'm placed in the back seat of the patrol car where "I can keep cool and comfortable"
Me: "Thanks man, you wanna join me?" You look really uncomfortable. I mean you're sweating and you got this vain popping out of your forehead that is just plain creepy!"
The second cop is just grinning ear to ear.
They stand by my car peering in and the inevitable occurs. They want to bring a dog in to search my car. I'm told I can allow it and be on my way in a half hour or I can spend the night in "confinement" till they they can get a warrant the next day. I was also told I would be liable for any impoundment fees ect.
Me: "Hmmmmmm. Well I was gonna go to Georgetown in the morning to get my car inspected anyway, you guys towing it there and taking me there is pretty much doing me a favor."
The look they gave me was such a keeper.
Me: "Tell you what. Sounds like it would be alot more work for you guys though. Lets call the dog."
2nd cop: "Thanks"
Me: "What kinda dog?"
2nd cop:"It's going to be a State K9"
Me:"Is it black?"
2nd cop "I don't think so"
So State cop comes with dog who of course found nothing in the car. However, I was issued a warning for failure to register title. Upon signing for it I say to cops,
"Nice pen. Hey! it's black!"
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