“It’s a Wonderful Keno’s Life”

Note: This post was made by Starbuck soon after webmaster Keno posted that he may have to close down Gasland back in 2003. Many claim this post helped save Gasx3 and is the best post ever made in Gasland. The replies are an important part of this thread, a link is provided to them at the bottom of the page. - Undercover

It’s a Wonderful Keno’s Life”
by Starbuck
(February 20, 2003) 

Our story opens with a lone solitary figure standing on the only bridge leading into the sleepy little hamlet of stonesford falls, USA. this figure, who has a long beard and bears a striking resemblance to cat stevens, has a lot on his mind. For years, he has toiled away bringing the residents of stonesford falls a vital service. He runs a family business that has provided for the town’s residents, and he has gained a very loyal cadre of followers over the last four years who have grown accustomed to his wonderful contributions to their town. his name is keno bailey, and he is the proprietor of the gasland savings and loan.

However, a strange twist of events in keno’s life of late has made him question whether or not running the gasland savings and loan is really worth it. The town’s local millionaire, sir stonesalot potter, had been looking to get his dastardly paws into the savings & loan for years. A careless mistake by keno’s forgetful uncle marko provided that opportunity: after a six pack of Olympia and an altercation with stonesalot in the lobby of the local bank, uncle marko unwittingly dropped a major bank deposit of cash and a flask of keno’s best hooch into sir stonesalot’s lap. The cash was keno’s monthly mortgage for gasland, and the hooch was, well, hooch. Realizing uncle marko’s mistake, sir stonesalot absconded with the hooch- and the deposit-and poor uncle marko, having lost everything, was forced to break the news to keno. “What?!” screamed Keno. “You lost my best hooch?! Marko, you crazy old man, how could you?!?”

The loss of keno’s hooch, not to mention the $$ that would result in stonesalot’s imminent foreclosure of gasland, sent keno into a tailspin. He headed home to his lovely wife gindamary and their wonderful children, 2000boy, steady rolling walkman, sahaira and little joey C10. joey was sick in bed because his teacher mr. Steelie sent him home without a hat on and he caught cold. In a fit of rage, keno called up mr steelie and ripped him a new one, not so much for the cold but for the fact that mr steelie taped a sign to the back of little joey that read “hatless honkie hick LOL!!”. After the phone conversation, the tensions began to rise in the keno household. Then, keno screamed at SRW, who was over in the corner with his Gibson trying to figure out MT’s solo from “Can’t you hear me knockin’”. “Cut that out!”hollered keno. “CUT THAT OUT!!” and ran out the door into the night.

Keno hopped into his Porsche and headed downtown. On the way, he stopped off at the local bar to drown his sorrows in a Guinness. After a few, keno was approached by none other than mr. Steelie, little joey’s teacher. “scream at me on the phone, will you?” steelie bellowed, and punched keno straight on in the face. Keno got up and ran outside to his car, peeling away from the bar with lightning speed. Unfortunately, keno’s reaction time was a bit dulled because of the few guinesses, and he rammed his car into a tree. Just about at the breaking point, keno headed for the bridge, the only way out of stonesford falls. It is here that we find him now.

However, just then some amazing things were happening in another part of this vast universe. Hearing the numerous entreaties from other residents of stonesford falls (see Gasland post: ‘what if there was no more gasland’), the Big Guy (not keith) decided to intervene. Sending for his angel most qualified for the difficult task ahead, the Big Guy (not keith) summoned none other than our old pal Brian Jones (RIP). The Big Guy (not keith) filled in brian on keno’s situation. “Oh yes, Big Guy (not keith). I’m quite familiar with keno’s situation, as I’ve been following his work for many years. Thanks to him, countless stones fans, both of the casual and rabid varieties, have been able to meet in his savings and loan and learn and discuss the world’s greatest rock n roll band ever. Many of them have developed long and lasting relationships with each other. Oh yes, Big Guy (not keith). I know of keno.” “well, brian,” said the Big Guy (not keith). “I am putting him in your charge. Good luck!”

Back at the bridge, keno was leaning on the guard rail, staring down into the dark, muddy waters as the snow fell all around him. All of a sudden, he heard a tremendous splash and saw a small blonde haired figure flailing about in the frigid waters below. Not thinking of any potential bodily harm, he threw himself over the bridge and into the water, rescuing the lone swimmer. Pulling him to shore, he realized that it was brian jones! “Brian! You’re supposed to be….dead!” said keno in amazement. “Yeah, my last swimming venture didn’t end too well,” brian said, “but you saved me on this one!”

They wandered into the guardhouse on the bridge to warm their clothes. “Brian, I just don’t understand it,” keno confessed. “I work my fingers to the bone for years making gasland a wonderful place to exchange ideas with other stones fans, and for inexperienced fans to learn more about their favorite band from those of us who’ve been following them for forty years. But then we get obnoxious posters who suck up my time and make me have to clean up their shit. And hey, I’m maintaining the site at my own personal expense. Sometimes I woner….is it all worth it? Heck, sometimes I wish gasland had never been born…..”

This gave brian an idea. He looked up and muttered something to the Big Guy (not keith), and then looked back at keno. He paused. “keno, you have your wish. Gasland was never born.” Just then, a gust of wind blew the door of the guardhouse open, startling keno. He stepped outside. “Gee, it stopped snowing all of a sudden. That’s weird.” he said to himself. He and brian started to make their way back towards town. However, some strange things caught keno’s eye on the way back to town. He noticed that the sign that used to read “stonesford falls” now read “pepperland”. He was aghast! In a state of mild confusion, he wandered back past where he had crashed his car. It was not there!

“What is going on here?!” he asked brian. “my car is gone, someone has changed the town sign, and hey, you’re supposed to be dead!” “Keno, I have been trying to tell you. I’ve been sent here to give you a wonderful opportunity, to show you how many people’s lives you’ve affected by your work here. Without your efforts, gasland was never born, and all of this little corner of cyberspace was bought up by some sort of beatle consortium started by some lawyer dude from florida.”

Brian and keno proceeded on towards town. On the way, he bumped into many familiar faces. On a park bench next to where the monument to Charlie watts used to stand (it had been replaced by a bronze likeness of ringo starr), sat factory girl and ~~~ in complete silence, waiting for the next bus. “factory girl! ~~~! What is the matter? Don’t you recognize each other?” cried keno. “toTaLLyriGhTeOUs caT sTEvenslkEdudE!” retorted ~~Q. “I diG your shiRt, buT I haVE noEyEdeer who YoU aRE!”

“I don’t understand,” keno said to brian as they continued into town. “are ~Q and factory girl fighting or what?” “no keno,” replied brian. “without gasland, Q and FG were never able to meet. They are complete strangers to each other.”

They happened upon a dank, seedy bar called ‘elanor rigby’s’. “hey, this place used to be called ‘angie’s’” keno said. “I know the owner- fleabit peanut monkey. It was because of my savings and loan that he was able to build the place.” Brian and keno went in and asked for FPM, but the bartender did not look impressed. “he’s over in the corner. Are you his ride? That guy’s gotta get home quick!”

“FPM, its me-keno!” keno said to fleabit, but fleabit was far too gassed to respond coherently. He had already consumed two pitchers of busch light, a margaritia and three glasses of “sex on the beach”. “fleabit, come to! What’s the matter? How was Cleveland?!” keno turned to brian. “fleabit was one of the founding members of the C10 organization, a brotherhood that is revered around stones circles nationwide….” “Keno,” whispered brian, “FPM doesn’t know you, he never was able to build his bar, and, worst of all….he’s never been to Cleveland!” Keno was shocked. “what?! He’s never been to Cleveland? But the C10….” “It never happened,” said brian. “No keno, no gasland. No gasland, no C10…..”

keno ran out of the bar, extremely agitated. “what is happening to me? What is going on? Brian, help me out! You have to tell me: where is ginda? Where is my wife?” a look of concern flashed across brian’s face. Keno knew something was wrong. “brain, you have to tell me!” “Keno, you’re not going to like it. Without your expert tutelage, ginda ended up marrying a don Henley freak from queens. Keno, she’s an Eagles fan!”

“Nooooo!!!” screamed keno, running down the street. He ran and ran, leaving brian behind. He eventually wound up back at the bridge, right where he started. “I want my life back! I want gasland to stay right were it is, where it will continue to influence the younger generation of stones fans about the greatest rock n roll band in history……”

the snow started to fall. The wind died down. All of a sudden, a police car pulled up. Out hopped officers Pdog & starbuck. “Hey…..keno?!” yelled Pdog, “is that you?” Keno looked up. “P?” he said.

“Geez, keno! We’ve been looking all over for you!” said Starbuck. “We got a call from ginda that said you took off in a huff, and she’s been worried sick about you. What happened?”

“Starbuck?! You guys know me?!” said keno. “of course I know you keno,” Starbuck said. “It was because of gasland that I developed a taste for the ron wood era, especially tattoo you. I’d always been a mick taylor era junkie until I met you.” Pdog added, “and its because of you that I met all sorts of other cool gassers that live in my area, like cardinal fang. Now I can talk about my clash and twinkie addictions out in the open.”

“WOOHOOO!!!!” screamed keno, and he ran off down the street, abandoning starbuck & pdog. “what got into him?” starbuck asked. “I dunno…must have found his hooch flask,” pdog replied.

Keno ran throughout stonesford falls, hooping and hollering at the top of his lungs. “Hello, gasland savings & loan! Hello, Angie’s!” Keno stopped at the bronze statue of Charlie watts at the center of town, where ~Q & FG were deeply embroiled in a discussion about the lyrics to “starfucker”. “no, its tasty foam, not taste the foam,” FG was saying to ~~. “helloooo ladies!” said keno. “maJorLY hapPy kENo mY mAn!!!!” said Q. “WeeeeEEeee LovE yoU and alL U DooO!”

Keno raced home as fast as his legs could carry him. Little did he know that while he was out, the entire town had gathered at his house to show their support for him and gasland. All the members of the town came to contribute, and enough spare change had been gathered to pay off the debt to stonesalot potter. When keno came through the door, the whole crowd let out a cheer. Everyone was there, from sean to tysteel (what ever happened to that guy?) to paypone al and everyone inbetween. Josh wainright even called from florida; he had heard that keno had lost his whiskey and was wiring as much as keno needed.

Racing up the stairs, keno ran to ginda. “what do you think of the eagles?!” he exclaimed. “they suck!” she replied. Indeed, everything was back to normal. Meanwhile, SRW had mastered the MT solo, and the whole town began to sing stones carols arm in arm. And right as the crowd was belting out the chorus to sweet Virginia, little joey ran out from his room into his pappy’s arms. “daddy keno,” said joey. “teacher says, every time mick swears, an angel gets his wings!” “yeah, that’s right,” said keno.

“thanks brian!”

And they all lived happily ever after.

To read the entire thread, click here: http://www.keno.org/gasland/get.asp?M=53581&P=0&T=53581


All Gassers will end up in Hell
by Christian Lurker
(March 5, 2004)

The band you love, the Rolling Stones, are leading all of you into Hell. I have been lurking at this board, and two other Stones boards, for about 3 months now. This one is by far the worst, not to say the other boards I've been reading are really any better, as every Stones fan is doomed. But here at this board the anti-Jesus, anti-God, and pro-Jewish posts and replies are by far the worst I've seen anywhere. To the Jews and non Christians here, you will not get into Heaven if you don't believe in Jesus. To the few here who claim to be Christians, your chances of getting into heaven are slim, unless you change your life now and stay as far away from this devil loving band, the Rolling Stones, and start to read your Bible everyday.

Yes, I've been studying this place along with several other sites for rock bands like AC/DC. I knew all along that the Stones were into the Devil, and their followers were in danger, but until I started to read this place, I didn't know just how bad Satan has you all in his grip. Please understand that my post here is not meant as spam, but to plead with you all to save yourself before it's too late.

Mick Jagger is into the Devil and anyone of you who think songs like Sympathy For the Devil, Pain It Black, etc. are not about the Devil, well your all lost! About all I can agree with any of you here about this man is that no, he isn't no "sir", that is for sure! His best friend, Keith Richards is a devoted believer in Voodoo and like Jagger, loves Satan. He not only does illegal drugs, but encourages his fans to do the same. Ron Wood is another who thinks it's better to have a party than to serve the Lord. You all know about the child molester Bill Wyman, and Charlie Watts, he seems like a good man, but that is not the true man that he really is, as he has a dark side too. The fact that he's in the Stones right there proves it. Then you have the late Brian Jones, who had the numbers "666" on his car's license plates, and like his friends Mick and Keith, was into Devil worshiping. He had countless bastard children who he never supported or loved, beat on their mothers who he would never marry, did more drugs than even Richards, and was a overall bad person who more than likely took his own life. You can bet he is in Hell waiting for his friends and fans to show up to join him.

Then there is all of you, the fans of this rock band. Again, you will end up in Hell unless you change your ways real fast. You all talk about your families here, they too have no hope if you don't do something now. There are a few Christians here who are beat up everyday by the rest of you. The truth is, they need to stay away from this hellhole if they know what is better for them. You cannot be a good Christians and get into God's heaven if you like rock bands like the Stones, period! Then there are the others here who are doomed. Take the two Jews who post, Steel Wls and Josh. At least in the case of Steel Wls he seems to understand the good in our President Bush, but believing in Gay rights, the Stones, and not believing in Jesus will not get you into the promised land. This Josh fellow, if he really is a lawyer, is about the lowest form of humanity as there can be. All that matters to him is money, he don't care about his family, and lives to put all of his fellow man down, unless they are Jews. There in no question a place in Hell is awaiting him. Then there are you other Gassers. She Rat is a pagan and admits it, what more do I need to say, PDog is about as anti Christian, anti-God as any one else here. He is proud that his young son is into punk bands, I can only wonder how this poor child will turn out, more than likely as bad as his father. Then other parents here who are leading their children into Hell would be the likes of 2000 Man, Dano, ~TaStYFoAm (I find it hard that she claims she's a Christian), Demon Life, Stones73, Ginda, Sirmoonie, and any of you who have children. I'm surprised those above even talk about their kids here, you should all be ashamed and I can only hope they don't follow in their parents' footsteps. Also please understand that I've left out many other Gassers here, but anyone who hangs out at this place, or any of the other Stones boards, need to repent now.

I've left the webmaster, Keno, for last, since he runs this haven for Satan. If anyone is to be doomed besides the Stones, it's you Keno. You not only allow this board to post anti-Christian, anti-Jesus points of views, but you put down and censor those who try to counter this blasphemy. I did find the hidden link to your personal web home page on your John Lennon site (yet another late rocker now in Hell). I'm glad it's hidden, good Christian people don't need to be exposed to something so sinful. I see you like to make fun of Christians there, where do you think that will get you? Just like your friends and their families who post here, I fear for your family too. I've seen the photos you have of your children up on your web page; they are all very good looking, the little ones seem so beautiful and innocent, but with you as their parent, they are doomed (How could you name your son afer Keith Richards anyway?). The things you believe in - and don't believe in, will affect them. You think it's good to raise your children as Atheists? You think it's healthy to practice Naturism? It's bad enough adults practice this perverted lifestyle, but why they drag their children into it is beyond me! I would bet that most children who take part in Naturism are more than likely being molested by others and will grow up to be molesters too when they reach adulthood. The fact that you also accept Gays as friends endangers your children also. Plus, that town you live in, my gosh, I didn't think there could be a place as awful as San Francisco! You may not think your into the Devil, but both the Devil and God exist, and you will be joining Satan for sure when your time is up. Like your beloved Rolling Stones and fellow Gassers, you will not get into Heaven!

I hope most of you will get to read this post before Keno deletes it, as I know he will. Again, I'm not a spammer, and this is my first and last post here, as I'm done studying you sinful people. But you can be saved if you just believe in Jesus, and read your Bible! For the sake of your children, or the entire world, please consider doing this. God does love even sinner and he does forgive. You can still make it into Heaven if you really change.

To read the entire thread, including the replies of those named above, click here: http://www.keno.org/gasland/get.asp?M=97229&P=0&T=97229


Here’s to all you Senior Citizens
by Sticky Finger
(April 9, 1999)  

I'm a young stones fan of nineteen years young. I'm tired of hearing about all your bull shit about B2B. None of you old farts appreciate an album like this because your brains have fried out because of all those freakin drugs you used in the sixties and seventies. I'm also tired of hearing that Let It Bleed and Beggars Banquet are the best Stones albums.

I and went out and bought those cd's after reading your reviews. I couldn't believe how overrated songs like "Gimme Shelter", "Monkey Man", and "Midnigh Rambler". The 40 second instrumentals to those songs is whats good about about them nad thats it. The only solid good songs were "country honk" and "You Can't Always get What You want". Beggars Banquet and Let It Bleed don't have the fire and spunk like StickyFingers, Exile, Some Girls, IORR, and, Tattoo You. None of you give Tattoo you any credit even though it was the most successful album the Stones ever put out. The only good songs on BB are Sympathy, Parachute, and Prodigal Son. The rest is jangly nonsense. Let It Bleed and Beggars Banquet are good but not as good as you say. Also on the song of Any Body Seen My Baby. I bought B2B because i heard that song. That song, and the album changed alot of my friends' image of the Stones. None of them thought the Stones could put out music like that. The stones are not trying to be hip they just want to show everyone they can play any style they want. And play it good. The reason why it didn't sell is because none of the radio stations ever played any of the singles accept maybe once. Or it could be because i live in Houston. Beside's no one want's to hear anti- Jesus songs like SOM. it's a good song, it could have been alot better with different lyrics. the Stones need to grow up and realize that Christ is the greatest thing that ever happened to mankind, before its too late for them. I love the stones, but nothing is more pathetic than a fifty year old nympho, pretending to be rebel. Give it up Mick. Oh, and one more thing. If the Stones are so much better than the Beatles like most of you say, why are the Beatles whoopin them in sales. I'd like to know myself.  



You need help. Other posters have been very kind to you, feeling that at nineteen you simply lack maturity to recognize what is 'jangly nonsense' and what isn't. I got this music at fourteen! I bought Beggar's Banquet with my goddamn allowance money, wore a groove in the vinyl(yes this way way way back when you could buy records, like in '83! Ya know, when Jesus was a cub scout?) within a year! Don't call yourself a Stones fan if you can't appreciate SFM and No Expectations. And if Stray Cat Blues make no impression on your supposedly hormonally charged nineteen-year old self, I pity you.

I completely agree with Keno's note about off-topic religious posting, BUT in this case I have to make an exception. Just how in the HELL in SOM anti-Jesus? Instead of thumping your Bible, why don't you read it? Sadly too many Xtians mouth off a lot, but don't have any clue about their own history. And another thing, the Stones and their spiritual beliefs(or lack thereof) is not your damn business. It's their business, and no one else's. No one's spiritual beliefs are any of your damn business.

Water Rat

B2B was a good album. But to fairly judge the albums and songs your ranting about you need to calm down turbo. Go get yourself a few videos . " L&G the Rolling Stones", "CS Blues", and a few Boot legs from these very explosive years. I'm sorry that you were not (on this planet) born and yet to experience the times and feelings of the day when Let It Bleed and Beggars Banquet were new. This seems to very upsetting to you. Get yourself some help before ya do anymore damage .  "The world was different place" is and understatement!

At that time, to see (also part of the over all experience) and hear these songs live was something just short or the second coming. If you think Jagger has some moves now, Hold onto your socks. The above videos get my blood >going STILL, as well yours if you take a look. Imagine this live!

There is help. Get mommy and daddy to take you to a stones show. Get near the B-Stage. Wait for the second of three songs. That's right "Midnight Rambler" that over rated song you popped off about) . The best live song in the set. And tell me that lie again about the song being over rated and it does nothing to you. Being 10 feet from MJ when he's prowling every FUCKING inch of the small stage belting out "every-body-got-ta-go". YOU- really should have been there. Mick was (still is) amazing. Throwing water, swinging over the crowd on a rope, throwing rose petals, moving like he still does, only quicker and WAY more intense. You have no idea what this did to me as a kid half your age. In short - YOU have no clue.

PS - Love to here back from you. I'll even make you a copy of the
Above mentioned videos. Get back to the Rat, send me a couple bucks to cover the cost of shipping and tapes and lets start the healing process. WR out!


>I'm a young stones fan of nineteen years young.

I think the key word in your opening sentence is the fact that you are 19 years "young", and not old. As already pointed out by a few below, you do need to grow up more and we don't mean that as a insult. There is nothing more that makes me happy than to see a young kid who claims to love the Stones. But from what you write it doesn't seem like you really love them. You need to understand what went on in the 1960s to understand what rock music meant back then and why an album like Beggars Banquet was such a hit and still is today. You also need to open your eyes on the truth of drugs and those of us who were caught up in that mess we call the '60s. Open your eyes and see the light. There is a lot to look back on. Just don't putdown what you don't know or understand. The early part of your post seemed to be more of a putdown of the babyboom generation Stones fans. We really are good people. So most of us did drugs, your generation does too. That will never change no matter what the laws of the land are, which for the most part are unjust. Yes, your mind needs to grow some more. Time will help, it is on your side. You will see that light and grow. Then maybe you will understand where BB & Let It Bleed are coming from and why they are great albums.

One last thing. I do like different viewpoints here and welcome them. Saturdays for the most part are dead around here and I thank you for waking everyone up and getting them to post on a slow day. But there is one thing that I would rather not see at this board, that being off topic stuff. I don't have a problem with your comment on SOM (but I don't agree its anit-Jesus). But please leave your praising of jesus for your church, some of us here are non believers and if anyone wants to talk about that, then go to the proper newsgroups/boards to voice our views on it there - not here.

Lord Voodoo

I hope your not serious. I'm not that much older than you and I think Beggars is probably greatest album ever made. B2B is a peice of garbage, and oh yeah, you need to listen to those albums more than once, and turn down that TV while you do. Also, I know society tells you not, but smoke 40 packs of cigarettes and drink a handle of JD and then you'll maybe understand what the stones were thinking. I'd suggest you also get addicted to coke and herroine, but that's really not a great idea.


First of all you and I have had something in common, that being 19 and just positive we knew what was right and everyone with a different opinion or idea Had to be wrong. Another thing we had in common, we didn't have a clue. Life experiences, education and maturity, will help so don't worry. Personnaly, I liked B2B. even though the boys strayed on a lot of the songs. But, you have never seen a post from me berrating someone for NOT liking it. By the way, I live in Houston and heard ASMB and SOM a fair number of times. I only listen to 104, 107.5 and 101, no oldies. SOM is not anti Jesus, your myopic view is totally off track. If you're a redneck in addition to being 19, I'll say a prayer for you. If you insist on calling yourself a Stones fan, gain the knowledge, learn about their beginnings, their lifesyles over the years, what truly influenced their music. There are a multitude of books which will give you insight on the individuals as well as their songs and albums. Open your mind, its a terrible thing to waste. Experience the boys in concert playing some of the songs you dislike, you will adjust your attitude or stay a pretender. So much for the diatribe, I have a plane to catch this aft. for Chicago, then on to Vegas. to absorb and experience the greatest rock n roll band of all. When I was 19 I said that also, but had nothing to back it up. Thirty years later I have the knowledge and facts to make that statement.

2000 Man

The reason you don't like Beggar's Banquet is simple. You have no appreciation of history. Beggar's Banquet is an absolutely amazing feat. The Stones were coming off two albums considered by many to be in a class as your beloved B2B. Then they put out Beggar's Banquet, a very primal roots music album. How can you not marvel at the beauty of the layers of acoustic guitars on Street Fighting Man, or Jagger's attitude that country music should be funny, while Keith gets the band to musically honor every pre-fifties country artist musically with Dear Doctor? You are nineteen years old, and you don't understand simple concepts like the pleasure of waiting for a girl to get off of work while you're standing in the rain. Beggar's Banquet is an old album, with old lyrical and musical ideas, but it was made by young men that GOT IT.

You just don't get it. Go be a U2 fan. Either that or understand where things come from before you open your young, stoopid mouth. You are ignorant.

To read the entire thread, click here: http://www.keno.org/messages/4894.html


One Litre Beers
by Currie (April 21. 2007)

I think there's something nice about 1 litre beers, brewed by the house, going for 8.50. It allows you to get good on a budget.

Bootlegs though. Crucial. My search for bootlegs began with my obsession with the song "Midnight Rambler." I sought live versions. But the only one I found was the Ya-yas version. So I thought to myself, surely there must be other live recordings. Thus I plunged into the world of bootlegs.

Ironically my first bootleg contained no Rambler and I hated it the first time I heard it. Passaic 78'- the songs didn't even sound like they did on record! So I was ignorant to think that they were bad, and the stones were a bad live band.

Of course once I relistened to the bootleg I began to appreciate the brilliance of it and all bootlegs. Here was a band, sloppy, drunk, imperfect, and yet they sounded more alive than any record.

There are certain songs which are utterly surpassed by their live versions. Midnight Rambler, You Gotta Move, Back Of My Hand, Out of Control, Jumpin Jack Flash, WHen the Whip Comes Down, Fool To Cry... After hearing them live, hearing them on record is never quite the same.

Part of it is fanaticism. We love one band more than any other, and in order to keep this interest, we listen to bootlegs from years back and can say "Well, I thought Fort Worth 78' was a weaker show than Memphis 78 because even though Ronnie was on fire at Fort Worth, the band was better at Memphis, and the recording was too." This is the sort of extreme overanalysis bootlegs make possible. Rather than having about 25 studio albums to analyse, we have hundreds.

Fuck some night there's a groove present in certain songs. Like Tumbling Dice. There'll be a reggae groove in some of the performances, and mick jagger'll add a little reggae tinge to some of his vocals sometimes. Or maybe the guitarists'll fuck up totally, and Stu'll have to cover the rhythm guitar part in the breakdown, and then Jagger'll yell "C'mon, lets get our shit together now" (on an 81 bootleg, either philly or SF)...and if you're not into bootlegs, you're missing that.

They're for the insatiable, those who seek to overanalyse, those who want almost everything that's listenable. And why not? Who cares if you only listen to it once? In that two hour span of listening, you'll here something that you'll have never heard before, and will be unique from every other recording you've ever heard.

Going back to Rambler. Bootlegs are worth getting if only because of Rambler. I've heard dozens of versions, and could tell you which versions are good for which reasons, which have interesting little tidbits, on which one Charlie drums best, where Keith is better, where Ronnie's slide is more haunting. If I didn't listen to bootlegs, I would not experience any of that richness, any of that depth.

SO because of my search deep into bootlegs, I've fulfilled my goal of finding many different Ramblers. This might make me crazy, overzealous, or obsessed, but I cherish every second of those 15 minute Midnight Ramblers. And how else would I get them without bootlegs?

To read the entire thread, click here: http://www.keno.org/gasland/get.asp?M=213162&P=213152&T=213152


38 years Gone, Kent State
by Payphone
Al (May, 4, 2008) 

Humor me today and take a trip with me back to May 4, 1970. Spring was in the air and if you were patient enough, you could sit and watch the buds coming out on the tree branches as they came to life after a long cold winter. For this young idealistic boy, hope and the fresh breeze of newness was in the air. I felt I was a part of a new generation that could bring about changes with the collective voices of conscious that would, and could, speak out against the perceived injustices of the world. We were millions strong. I felt empowered .. Nothing could stop us. The future shined brightly in front of me.

I had older friends that were going and coming back from a war taking place halfway around the world. I saw the changes that weighed heavily on the returning vets who lived the horrors of war. It helped me understand the moments when my father, a WW2 Vet, would go silent and just stare into space. Something had to be done and we had the numbers, we had the voice and we had peace in our hearts.

I became heavily involved in the peace movement. I traveled for the gatherings taking place in the Midwest. I attended meetings of the SDS which had splintered and I was on the fringes of the Weathermen. We were making a difference and public support against the war was growing everyday. But then came the events that made me the jaded person I am today.

Can you believe what that pig Nixon did??? He escalated the war!!!! Sending bombers into Cambodia. What was he thinking?? Reports were coming in of illegal excursions into Laos and Thailand. Body counts were just numbers on a grainy graphic over Walter Cronkite’s shoulder during the nightly news. It’s time to hit the streets my brothers. This shit has to stop.

Colleges across the country were filled with students who mobilized to vent their frustration about the expansion of the war. A united voice must be heard, loud enough to be heard even in the halls and back rooms of the White House. I was on the campus of the University of Michigan on May 4th. But this story is not about me. This story is darker then anything that has happened to me. For those of us that lived during these times, my purpose is to remind and remember. For those not yet born or to young to know, please read on ..

As I said earlier, Spring had sprung in the Midwest. It was the same on the campus of Kent State. This school was not on the radar for most people outside of Ohio. It had been a rough weekend. Students were feeling anger about the war and the feeling that the town was inflating prices for students. Friday night was a drinking night and a band of students and local bikers broke windows in town on buildings that represented THE MAN. About $5,000 worth of damage. Needless to say.. That pissed off the town leaders. A decision was made that the National Guard was needed. After all, there was 5. 000 dollars worth of damage that these punks had to be made to understand would not go unnoticed. But with the red tape of government, this would take time.

Saturday night, a group of students marched on the old ROTC building on campus that was condemned and scheduled for demolition. Feeling their oats, several students tried to light the building on fire. This is were details start getting sketchy. The fire department did respond, but had to pull back due to rock throwing by the mob. However, the mob tired of the game and retreated which allowed the fire department to take control of the property and put out the fire. That the fire was extinguished is confirmed by firemen on the scene. The students left the area, did a loop around campus gathering a crowd and returned to the ROTC building to find it, much to their surprise, totally engulfed in flames with the fire department watching the destruction of the building. Unrelated to the burning of the building, the National Guard was rolling into town in response to the breaking of windows from Friday night. However, they did not stop in town. They rolled right on to the campus and set up camp. Bringing armed military presence on a collage campus enraged with the military machine seemed like a good idea to someone. The Kent State students woke up Sunday morning to find their campus an armed camp.

Sunday brought the rattling of swords from the Establishment. The Governor came into town and announced, “This is the most vicious form of campus-oriented violence yet perpetrated by dissident groups and their allies in the state of Ohio." He promised "to put a stop to this, we are going to eradicate the problem. We are not going to treat the symptoms. A General of the National Guard put in his 2 cents by saying, "Like the Ohio law says, use any force that is necessary even to the point of shooting." That night, a small group gathered on the Commons and sat down in protest. They were told to disperse and almost immediately after that announcement, the National Guard fired tear gas into the crowd and advanced on this position with fixed bayonets. Several students did get bayoneted on this spring Sunday night. The stage was set. All that was needed was the players.

Come Monday, there were other outside agitators on campus besides the 800 plus troops of the National Guard. Several non-student members of various peace groups were present as well as at least 50 FBI agents and/or paid informants of the FBI enrolled as students to spy on other students and their activities. As was the case on collage campuses across the country, the students at Kent State had applied for and been approved for a legal, peaceful demonstration against Nixon’s bombing of Cambodia. But the events of the weekend had changed the mood, both of the demonstrators and of the administration of KentState.

About 2,000 students were gathered in the area for the noon time demonstration. Classes had not been suspended and most in the crowd (probably 70 percent) were spectators and students going to their classes. An announcement was made at ten to twelve that the crowd was ordered to disperse. So now, not only was the military occupying their campus, the students were being told their first amendment right to assemble was arbitrary being taken away. You got some pissed off people on both sides of the issues now. Tear gas was shot at the crowd and students responded by throwing the canisters back and also throwing rocks at the helmeted, riot equipped Guardsmen. Despite their anger, fire, desire and youth, the throwers of the rocks did not have the major league arms to cover the distance of over 100 yards to reach the soldiers. This tactic was abandoned for a new tactic of obscene gestures and language being thrown at the Guardsmen.

Movement and skirmishes occurred over the next 45 minutes or so. Then came that moment in time that, no matter how hard you wish, can never be taken back.

The Guardsmen had marched down to an area that was surrounded on three sides by a fence. Knowing that was a poor position to maintain, they reversed direction and marched back up a hill with maybe 10 to 20 students following behind, the closest about 60 feet away. Fearing for their lives because of the verbal assault being inflected on them, 28 Guardsmen turned in unison, leveled their M-1 military rifles and fired indiscriminately into the students. Thirteen seconds the volley continued with 67 rounds flying through the air.

I don’t have to detail how hot bullets rip the flesh, damage internal organs and bones, remove body matter or snatch the life from a person. Nor do I need to describe the fatal shots to the dead. When all was said and done, 9 students were wounded and 4 were dead. The crimes of 2 of the dead students was that they were walking to their afternoon classes. The dead laid 340 feet to 390 feet away from the shooters that were in fear for their lives. The names of the dead need to be remembered by me today...

Allison Krause - Age: 19; William Schroeder - Age: 19; Jeffrey Miller - Age: 20; Sandra Scheuer - Age: 20 .

In a tragedy such as this, blame is a wasted effort. Commissions were formed and law suits filed with little results. Many lives were devastated, including those shooting from the top of the field and those that watched the victims take the last breaths of their short lives on some collage asphalt parking lot during a warm spring day in Ohio.

I felt a disconnect when hearing the news that night. Hope, Peace and Happiness became a hallow concept for me. The Peace Movement was never the same for me, and many others, from that moment on. The stakes had been risen and would continue to rise ten days later when innocent people were killed and wounded at Jackson State during a demonstration. The age old question of meeting violence with violence for the sake of peace came into play. I can not say what direction I felt I had to take in response to those recent events.

Now we are 38 years later. We are in a war that does not have the support of the majority of the citizens of the country wagering that war. And just like 38 years ago, the Administration does not care what the populace thinks or wants. But what has changed, instead of using bullets to quell the rabble, the powers that be control the masses by taking away their civil rights and using fear to keep them in line. Allison, William, Jeffery and Sandra, I’m sorry that a whole generation, and me, let you down.

To read the entire thread, click here: http://www.keno.org/gasland/get.asp?M=229984&P=0&T=229984

Note: This next one is of course another one of those satire posts. We have had a few others written in this matter, but most of them got deleted because of lack of server space a few years back. Lucky for us, this Gassy post lives on.....

I Demand Satisfaction
by Travellin’ Man
(Feb. 1, 2008)

For years I thought this was a respectable site to post about my obsession with the Stones, but this will be the last time I post here unless the bastard or bitch who is responsible for this pain in my heart comes forth and admits what they have done! Something happened to me yesterday, and it is one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life! If you need me to explain what it was then you had nothing to do with this sad day. Suffice it to say it is both complicated, and terrifying, and to give details would be premature at this point, but anyway you look at it, I have been wronged here! Little by little it has gotten worse until now it is completely out of control! I wish I knew who the guilty party is because I am ready to fight and they truly deserve to feel the back of my hand! That's right, I've had it with you, whoever the hell, you are! You think it is all about you! Don't you? Look what you've done! I feel awful and my nerves are shattered. I think I'm going mad!

I have mixed emotions about leaving here, but I gotta get away for a long long while because I just can't be seen posting here if YOU are my neighbor! You have a strange way of getting your rocks off! Congratulations for putting me between a rock and a hard place, and leaving me without knowing what to do, but If you don't stop these petty, lowdown games, it won't take long before I find your crack smoking, stoned out ass, and you feel the storm of my fists raining down upon you! I will not hold back anything! Even if you jump on top of me I will go around and around with your ass until I'm winning ugly!

Can I get a witness to the name of the culprit? That would sure make me happy! If you have the information then send it to me. What a shame if you are sitting on a fence with the info and leaving me high and dry, without a clue! Someone give me the name so I can sleep tonight and wake up in the morning happily ready to call the proper authorities. I am waiting, and though this evil person thinks they will get off the hook for betraying me with this sad, sad, sad day, I can assure all of you it was the biggest mistake of their life! Time waits for no one. You stupid guy or stupid girl! Some guys and some girls just don't know when to quit! You do not have the luxury of time here. Time is on my side, baby!

If you send me an email then don't lie to me about who it is either! Given the situation, that would be too rude for words. I've had way too many lies told to me, and about me, this winter already!

Each and every day of the year I came to Gasland for my Stones connection. It has felt like a family here. There have been good times, bad times and everything in between, but the good times have far outweighed the bad. Every time I post I feel like I am waiting on a friend to reply. For those of you who are truly my friends I will truly miss you when I'm gone. I'm moving on because I have no expectations of actually learning the name of the person who has served up this rough justice to me. It hurts me too! How can I stop posting here when I enjoy it so much? If you really want to be my friend then give me the information if you have it. Come on and let it loose, because I really want to be cool, calm and collected once again. Basically, I'm alright. I'm too tough and I simply refuse to be a slave to this situation for very long. Should no one give me the information I seek then just let me go elsewhere. If you let me, without asking me to stay, it will be easier on me. It's not easy to leave, but with these latest events it's all over now.

Is it just my imagination or are many of you laughing at me?

Till The Next Goodbye,

Travellin' Man

To read the entire thread, click here: http://www.keno.org/gasland/get.asp?M=225651&P=0&T=225651


Dirty Work
by 2000 Man
(February 23, 2002) 

First off, I checked with the boss before I posted this gargantuan thing. If you don't care about Dirty Work, stop reading now! If you're in a hurry, stop reading now! You've been warned!

The Setup

Dirty Work. Two words that no one likes to see alone, but when placed together the connotations are terrible. Nobody wants to do the Dirty Work. The Dirty Work is beneath us because it is dirty and involves more work than it is worth. So why would the Stones give their 1986 album one strike before it ever got out of the wrapper and onto the turntables of the world? Maybe it was an in joke, that they thought was funny at the time, but in retrospect seems to be a very fitting title for one of the Stones’ least appreciated releases.

In 1983 the Stones released the adventurous and fairly successful (selling 2 million copies) Undercover. Some of the criticisms surrounding that release were that the Stones had strayed too far from their roots. Dirty Work had four solid, hard rocking songs in its bag of tricks, and an updated very danceable cover track. This time Keith Richards stepped out with lead vocals on two songs, a wonderful ballad, and the by now obligatory Stones reggae track. Three pop oriented dance tracks made up the rest of the album. The list of superstar guests (Bobby Womack, Don Covay, Jimmy Page, Tom Waits and more), coupled with arguably the hottest producer of the 80’s, Steve Lillywhite, Dirty Work should have been poised to be a huge success. Especially when considering that the Stones were in the “tour year” of a touring pattern that had begun in 1969.

Dirty Work came out to great reviews. “There hasn’t been so much static on a Stones album since the glory days of ‘Street Fighting Man’ and ‘Sympathy for The Devil,” said Keith Sharp, rating the album ‘Excellent (and that means exceptional).’ Other reviewers called it the “best since Exile on Main St.” and considering that a tour looked likely, especially with Dirty Work being their first release of their new 28 million dollar record deal with CBS, this should have been a high point in the Stones’ career. Instead, Dirty Work and the other activities the band members were involved in nearly ripped the Stones apart.

Prior to the Dirty Work sessions, the Stones were all involved in side projects. Keith was doing tributes and movies with his idols, Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry as well as working with Tom Waits on his album, ‘Rain Dogs.’ Bill Wyman and Charlie Watts became active in the A.R.M.S. project, which was connected with the Faces Ronnie Lane, and raised money for Multiple Sclerosis, which afflicted Lane. Charlie and bill did a show at the Royal Albert Hall, which was released to raise money for A.R.M.S. and a short set of shows in the US for the charity as well. Wyman started his side project, Willie and the Poor Boys, which included an album and some shows, and Watts started his first jazz project, which would become Charlie’s main focus after the release of Dirty Work and the free time left since there was no tour. Ron Wood kept himself busy in much the same way he does today when the Stones aren’t working.

She’s The Boss

Mick Jagger was certainly the most ambitious about his projects outside the Stones prior to and after the release of Dirty Work. Mick recorded ‘Beast of Burden’ with Bette Midler, and ‘State of Shock’ with Michael Jackson. In the fall of 1984, Jagger started his solo album, pushing back the start of the new Stones album. The new album would be called She’s The Boss, and it was a very ambitious project.

She’s The Boss had Mick recording his solo record, and then shooting a short film for promoting the record, which took five weeks. The film was shot by Julien Temple, who had produced videos for Undercover, and besides Mick the film featured Jerry Hall, Dennis Hopper and Rae Dawn Chong. For whatever reason, the film yielded just two videos, and wasn’t released in its entirety until She’s The Boss had long since fallen out of the charts. Mick used Bill Laswell and Nile Rodgers as producers for the record. She’s The Boss went platinum, but didn’t yield any top ten singles in the US, and didn’t fare nearly as well in the UK. After such a major push by Mick to become a superstar outside of the Stones, the results were a bit disappointing.

Live Aid

Live Aid was the biggest rock concert for charity ever assembled. An amazing cast of rock’s superstars assembled on both sides of the Atlantic to perform an all day concert for famine relief. The show was broadcast on MTV to a worldwide audience. The Stones as a performing group were conspicuous in their absence, yet individually they were a large part of the show. Mick did a cover version of ‘Dancing In The Streets’ with David Bowie, and a video was made for the song, and premiered at Live Aid. Mick also appeared with Tina Turner at the show, while Keith and Ronnie played with Bob Dylan.

Ian Stewart

Perhaps the most damaging thing to the psyche of the Stones happened on December 12, 1985. Ian Stewart had a heart attack in his doctor’s waiting room and died. All five of the Stones attended Stu’s funeral. Dirty Work has a short snippet of Stu playing at the end of side two as a memorial from the Stones. If Stu’s impact on the band was hard to measure while he was alive, it would become obvious after he died just how much he helped hold the Stones together. The Stones would really miss his honesty and his ability to put things in perspective.

Dirty Work

Dirty Work began recording in January of 1985, and it took the entire year to get the album finished. It took the first six months to record it, and the next six months to get it mixed. In contrast, Undercover had only taken a few months to record and mix. The Stones were doing interviews while sessions were ongoing for Dirty Work. Inevitably, a lot of the interviews dealt with in band fighting and touring. Since Steve Jordan and Anton Fig appeared on some songs, it was reported that Charlie was unhappy with the Stones and talking of leaving. Chris Welch asked Bill about the sessions, and Bill had some interesting comments. “We spent months in Paris making the new album. We messed around for weeks because Mick was still buggering around with his solo album instead of working with us. He would fly back to London in the middle of it which, I might add, is a thing that nobody else has ever done, because when it’s Stones work, everybody drops solo projects. It kinda caused a bit of resentment in the band. We thought he should have forgotten his solo album, which was already out and finished [ed. note: Mick rerecorded ‘Hard Woman’ with the Hooters to try and spur sales.]. He continued to work on that, which was disappointing. We thought he had his priorities wrong. His mind wasn’t there. It worked out in the end.”

Concerning Charlie, Bill said “Charlie cut his hand, opening a miniature bottle. We didn’t think he could drum for some weeks. All the frustrated drummers in the band thought, ‘Now’s my chance!’ and rushed to the drum kit. Mick would keep a rhythm going, and Simon Kirke played a bit. But nothing he did was used on the album.” When asked if Kirke might replace Charlie, Bill had this to say, “No. Simon has been coming along to Stones sessions as a mate for years. If you recall, Charlie came home from Paris because he damaged his hand and had to rest. When he got to the airport, the Press jumped on this absurd story that he’d had a huge row and walked out on the sessions and wasn’t going back. It had absolutely nothing to do with that.”

Keith and Mick’s rows in the press at this time were legendary, and they’re easy enough to find quotes from. I found things that other people were saying more interesting than their sniping. Mick talked with Bobby Womack about his new band during the Dirty Work sessions and told Womack, “Man, I’ve got a band that’s better. They play TODAY’S sound.” More from Womack, “He (Jagger) would ask me, ‘What did he say? What was he doing?’ because they wasn’t talking. And I think Bill might have had intentions not to tour at the time. He came in and did his part. Charlie put his part there somewhere else. You can’t cut an album like that. Not and be a unit.” Certainly outtakes don’t bear Womack out. It does seem that Mick missed some sessions when looking at the outtakes, as there are a lot of songs that Keith sings on, like ‘Deep Love,’ You’re Too Much,’ Treat Me Like A Fool’ and others. Engineer Dave Jerden said, “There was a lot of jamming going on, and Mick would be there for the jamming. They were even doing some Beatles songs. They did ‘Please Please Me’ and a couple others. They would just jam on anything, old blues songs – ‘Spoonful,’ stuff like that.”

But wait! There's More!

Steve Lillywhite

The Stones hired a producer for their new album, the hottest producer of the eighties, Steve Lillywhite. In retrospect, he wasn’t a very good choice. Lillywhite had produced hugely successful albums by U2 and Peter Gabriel. He also produced successful albums by the Psychedelic Furs and Simple Minds, two of the newer eighties acts with the “big” eighties sound. Lillywhite practically had the Midas touch during this period, but if the Stones had been paying attention they may not have used him. Steve Lillywhite produced Marshall Crenshaw’s Field Day. Crenshaw was closer to the Stones style musically than the bands Lillywhite had been successful with, as Crenshaw relied on catchy riffs and a somewhat stripped down sound. The songs on Field Day were crushed under Lillywhite’s bombastic production, and the album went nowhere. The Stones may have noticed that their music had more in common with Crenshaw’s than with Peter Gabriel’s Steam. Lillywhite was known for his big drum sound, a sound which may have served Jagger’s She’s The Boss better than the Stones’ Dirty Work. Dave Jerden had an interesting comment about working with the Stones when he said, “When we were mixing in New York, Steve Lillywhite changed the speed in one song, sped it up a little bit, and it was hardly anything. Keith walked in and he just went ballistic. He goes ‘Nobody, fucking nobody, fucks with the Rolling Stones! That tempo was cut at that speed and it stays at that speed!’” An interesting comment, especially since we have seen the results of ‘Fingerprint File’ and what it sounds like at its correct speed.

86 US Tour – Dirty Work

Even before the album was released, a tour seemed in the bag. The Stones had settled into their every three years US tour thing, and it was definitely overdue. They had all talked about touring, and it certainly seemed like it was going to happen. Mick told the New York Times that a tour was “quite possible.” Paul Wasserman had said that the Stones would tour the US at the end of summer ’85, after Dirty Work came out, but the album wasn’t ready by then. Mick also told Rolling Stone “Hey, this is our first album for CBS, we GOTTA tour.”

That’s when things fell apart. When asked if the Stones had resolved to tour Bill remarked, “We have. I don’t think Mick has! Everybody else wants to tour. Charlie has some reluctance but he’ll go along. Mick doesn’t want to. The truth is, he’s the one who loses six pounds in sweat a show and has to get into physical shape. He has to run around for two and a half hours. If I was him, I’d think twice. He’s the one who’s going to get slagged off.” He continued, “But we’re one of the best live bands and I think we should do it. We should let the kids see what a real good touring band is like. I see a lot of young bands out on the road and a lot of them are anti-climaxes, like Ultravox and Simple Minds. They’re not well organized and they haven’t got a show. The music might be good, but visually Ultravox are boring and Simple Minds are just a huge rumble of noise.”

Keith was upset that Mick hadn’t committed to touring or not touring earlier, and felt somewhat strung along by Mick waiting so long to decide not to tour. This wound up being a big feud between Mick and Keith in the press for a couple of years, until they got back together and started work on Dirty Work.

When asked about his decision, Mick said, “Touring Dirty Work would have been a nightmare. It was a terrible period. Everyone was hating each other so much; there were so many disagreements. It was very petty; everyone was so out of their brains, and Charlie was in seriously bad shape. When the idea of touring came up, I said, ‘I don’t think it’s gonna work.’ In retrospect, I was a hundred percent right. It would have been the worst Rolling Stones tour. Probably would have been the end of the band.”

The Evaluation

Maybe Mick was right about the tour, he certainly has stuck with his feelings throughout interviews. Where he usually seems to have at best a “selective” memory, he has steadfastly insisted that the band was not in shape to tour Dirty Work and that the tour would have broken up the band. Mick does sometimes seem to confuse his second solo album and the effects of those sessions with Dirty Work and its issues. He mentions in some interviews that “after” Dirty Work was recorded, he had to work on his album, which Keith knew all about. The rest of the band also seemed healthier than Mick is giving them credit for. Keith did a lot of projects with other people, eventually leading to his first solo album, Talk Is Cheap. Ronnie did a tour with Bo Diddley, Bill got things going with Willie and the Poor Boys and Charlie toured England with his Big Band and recorded Live At Fulham Hall. It seems that Mick’s heart was really into doing something without the Stones, and he just couldn’t seem to find a way to tell them that he wanted some serious time off to do whatever he wanted. Not just three months or half a year. He wanted to do something different, and the Stones wanted to tour. Maybe if Dirty Work had been pushed back a year the results would have been different. As it stands now, the album is almost secondary to what was going on during the time it was made. Keith was really ready to participate in a new album and tour. Ronnie was up for it, Bill was ready to go, and in hindsight Charlie (who was in the middle of a nasty heroin habit), seems like he was healthy enough to do a tour.

Would the Stones have broken up? Possibly. If Mick felt that strongly about not working with the Stones at that period in his life, and he was forced to, maybe he would have called it quits. As it stands, it’s obvious that Mick really wanted to do something else, but felt obligated to do the Stones thing. He tried to balance two things that both needed his undivided attention. If he had made the decision to do either She’s The Boss OR Dirty Work, the end results probably would have been better remembered today. Two comments by Keith at that time are telling: “After the last time the Stones worked together we said we’d carry on playing regularly…and, for once, Woody and me kept our promises. You got to keep practicing, playing, getting those ideas coming.” Also, “Even if the Stones didn’t exist, I’d just wander around the world playing in bars for drinks – and to see if I could cut it.”

Maybe if Keith had been there earlier for Mick, Mick would have been there more for Dirty Work.


Steve Appleford’s The Rolling Stones It’s Only Rock And Roll: Song By Song; several issues of Rolling Stone, circa 1985-1989.; Rock Express Vol 10 issue 102.; some issues of Spin; Goldmine, Oct. 20 1989

NO articles by Nick Kent were used, because I think he makes stuff up and it’s been PROVEN BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT that he does, indeed make stuff up. If you want to use the article in Spin, August 1986 as rebuttal, I'll tell you now that your source sucks, Rush Limbo is more credible.

To read the Entire thread, click here: http://www.keno.org/gasland/get.asp?M=18274&P=0&T=18274

Deep Thoughts By TM

by Travellin’ Man (July 15, 2008)

1) If a bear shits in the woods and there's no living thing around with a nose. Does it still stink?

2) Do good hearted atheists go to heaven if heaven actually exists? I'm thinking about George Carlin and Kurt Vonnegut here.

3) What is Heaven?

4) What is God?

5) Can you really drink until you're sober?

6) Is every cop really a criminal?

7) Is every sinner really a saint?

8) Has anyone ever truly drank the town dry?

9) Has anyone ever truly painted the town red?

10) How will people remember you when your time is finally up?

11) Let's say God (A Creator of the Universe) doesn't exist. (There is no concrete proof either way.) How does one explain evolution, intelligent design, the body's ability to heal itself, the ridiculous cuteness of small children, and baby animals, blooming flowers, LOVE, and The music of The Rolling Stones?

12) If God does exist. How could he, she, it, (take your pick), allow the atrocities and suffering which even innocent children are subjected to?

Yes. I'm asking you to think here. That is the sole reason I ask these questions. ( Well. I kinda wanted to think myself.) There are no "right" or "wrong" answers. To become an "instant philosopher" answer the above questions, or at least a few of them. Professor Travellin' Man phd, is not a strict task master at all. I'm about as laid back as they come unless you get in my face. (In fact, you can grade your own answers. Because I sometimes like a challenge, and tonight is one of those times, I will attempt to answer all these difficult questions for myself. I defiantly ask one more question. Why not try to answer them? What harm can be done? And you might just learn something about yourself. Wouldn't that suck?! lol.

1) It stinks to high heaven and quite glad I'm in my suburban home and not anywhere near those particular woods!

2) If there's a Heaven. Those two are at least honorary guests just for the laughter they give to the legitimate residents. Personally, I think Vonnegut is an Atheist Saint.

3) It's when you hit the lottery, make love, your team wins the Super Bowl, and the Stones played at halftime, all on the same day. (NB came close to heaven a couple years back.)

4)The Universe, the intelligence and the love behind it's design.

5)Naaah. Not real sobriety.

6)There are actually some good cops who take the "Serve and Protect" very seriously. And there are some cops who are the biggest hypocrites and criminals in the world. The percentages depend on where you live.

7) No one is entirely bad or entirely good.

8) Yes. Billy Bob Mountcastle drank the town of Scaredsheep, Alabama (pop. 2) dry on a night in 1974! He stole, and consumed, his brother, Bubba's last six pack while Bubba was away on vacation in Twitsville, Alabama. Yes. Drinking the town dry can be done!

9) Yes. Clint Eastwood had it done for him in the fine Western, 'High Plains Drifter'.

10) Differently

11) Hmm. It was all created by more than one creator? I don't buy that it just simply "happened".

12) Because God does not "allow" or "disallow" the acts of human beings? Either good or evil. We are talking, "Free Will" here. And such things are "allowed" to exist so we, as individuals, can demonstrate who we are, and where we stand, in relation to such atrocities and suffering in the realm of relativity. Keeping in mind, a lifetime is but the blinking of an eye, in relation to "ALL Time".

BTW. Isn't it funny. The most important questions in life have no absolute answers. One must create "beliefs" instead. You are what you think. Think on that...

Enjoy your coffee. I'm going out to drink the town dry, paint the town red, get arrested by a cop who is also a criminal, and take my rightful place as a sinner who is also a saint.

Share that bottle, Ronnie.


Damn, those are some of the kind of questions that can lead to problems here, mainly because we type what we think and are not talking to each other, and when you can't hear a person's voice, and only read what they have to say - it can lead to problems.....

1) If a bear shits in the woods and there's no living thing around with a nose. Does it still stink?

You're drinking again tonight, right? We got a lot of bears around here, and they usually shit at nite when nobody is outside. Unlike most places, I don't find dog shit in my yard by strays, but I do find bear shit (and a lot of deer shit). But anyway, I never tried to smell it, if you get my drift, but anything coming out of a living being smells bad, period.

2) Do good hearted atheists go to heaven if heaven actually exists? I'm thinking about George Carlin and Kurt Vonnegut here.

Which heaven are you talking about? Many Atheists believe in Nirvana, which is different, but some call Nirvana and Heaven the same thing.

3) What is Heaven?

A dream like world where the living want to go since most of the living can't accept the fact that we are mortals and will die some day. Others will say that any kind of afterlife is heaven, therefore if you are into Hinduism, you are living in heaven right now. For me, heaven is right here on Earth, along with Hell. It is what you make of your life or sometimes, like for little kids, you might be placed there and in the case of Hell, not by choice.

4) What is God?

A loaded question with all kinds of answers, as you already know.

5) Can you really drink until you're sober?


6) Is every cop really a criminal?


7) Is every sinner really a saint?

Nope, but many are.

8) Has anyone ever truly drank the town dry?


9) Has anyone ever truly painted the town red?


10) How will people remember you when your time is finally up?

Depends on the person.

11) Let's say God (A Creator of the Universe) doesn't exist.

Okay, God doesn't exist.... happy?

(There is no concrete proof either way.)

Depends on the God you are talking about, but for several of them (well, most) I think the odds are against any God(s). Again, it depends on what a "god" is to you. I know god exists, and I know God(s) doesn't exist, and I see the proof for myself to know this is a fact to me, and that is all that matters for myself.

How does one explain evolution, intelligent design,

Evolution - with science, intelligent design - no proof at all.

the body's ability to heal itself,

Ask a doctor. But that works both ways, how about the body's inability to heal itself?

the ridiculous cuteness of small children, and baby animals, blooming flowers, LOVE, and The music of The Rolling Stones?

The cuteness of small children is because of their innocence and overall drive and youth - and their lack of hate. With the Stones, the answer lies in our ears.

12) If God does exist. How could he, she, it, (take your pick), allow the atrocities and suffering which even innocent children are subjected to?

Why stop there, how about the atrocities and suffering of all of mankind? Most humans are good people, so why should anybody suffer? Just because some preacher, or bible (written by man) says so don't mean it is truth. God is a scapegoat for our fears and suffering; while on the other side of the coin, God can be the adults Santa, too. God exists in the minds of most humans for the reason I stated way above above heaven - most are afraid to die even if they don't admit it and even if they accept death (like we got a choice). Most people I know who are not totally afraid to die are Atheists and Buddhists (and most Buddhists are actually Atheists). The only humans who believe in a God and are not afraid to die are usually into Hinduism and those who practice some of the off shots to the Eastern religions. Okay, some of those Muslims are so brainwashed that they are not afraid to die, either. But, and I say this with no disrespect, most Christians who I know are afraid to die. Some aren't, but most are.

I'll close with what a great god wrote about the different Gods out there.... GOD (by John Lennon) ... God is a concept By which we measure Our pain I'll say it again God is a concept By which we measure Our pain.... I don't believe in magic I don't believe in I-ching I don't believe in Bible I don't believe in tarot I don't believe in Hitler I don't believe in Jesus I don't believe in Kennedy I don't believe in Buddha I don't believe in Mantra I don't believe in Gita I don't believe in Yoga I don't believe in kings I don't believe in Elvis I don't believe in Zimmerman I don't believe in Beatles I just believe in me Yoko and me And that's reality........... I'll skip the rest of the lyrics. I do believe in god, I'm a god, my kids and grandkids are god, you are your own god, etc. I just don't believe in God.

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